doing adulthood one mess at a time

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While I have basically ignored this blog since school began, I have finally come to a (short) post-midterms pause. While I was warned how busy this program would be, I somehow was not expecting the reality. I have never been this busy, but school has also never felt this right.

I really loved my undergraduate major. While I took pre-med requirements, my undergrad degree is in Religious Studies, which I absolutely love. But nursing has made me . . . passionate. I really love what I’m doing, and I’m really excited that this is the career I’m headed toward.

I spent my first six weeks of clinical on a cardiology unit. To be perfectly honest, I had always thought of cardiology as somewhat boring – a specialty that was deeply important but limited in scope and very cut-and-dried. You guys, I fell in love a little bit. I had an amazing preceptor for my first rotation and learned A TON. I really feel like I’m starting to understand cardio-related things and that understanding is really satisfying.

Meanwhile, I have been through 6 major exams in just under three weeks. It has been crazy. My car hydroplaned on 95 last week. This past weekend I did a 12 hour clinical shift (from which we were, blessedly, released early) then got right on a train and went to New York for 23 hours. When I returned home, I was picked up – in an epic monsoon/wind storm – at the train station by a friend and went immediately back to school to study for an exam Monday morning. Less than 9 hours later I returned to school and took the exam, then immediately went home to nap. My Monday night margaritas were possibly the hardest earned margs of my life.

Y’all, it has been a very long time since I was this exhausted. And I was a lot younger the last time it happened. But all this forward progress? It’s really great.


Rain on Window

It’s thunderstorming in New York as I write this. I absolutely love a good thunderstorm. When I was very little, I had a ground floor bedroom and worried often that someone would try to come in and get me through the window. Nights when it was storming always made me feel safe – I figured that no bad person would risk such adverse conditions to do me harm. I always felt so cozy and slept so well with a raging storm outside. Now, I sleep well because I really appreciate the white noise.

It has been quite a couple of months.

I committed to a nursing school.

I went through a breakup.

I won my fantasy Bachelor league.

I dealt with an extremely painful flare up of a chronic injury.

It’s been a very mixed bag.

All of this said, I’m very excited. Now that I know where I’m headed for school this year, I can finally start planning. I love a good plan . . . and a good to-do list. Mine is rather long at the moment. But I can cross this update off of it.

Good night!



Windowsill Plant

This blog has been a project two or so years in the making. Despite writing quite a few draft posts and thinking a lot about what I would like to publish here, I could never get myself to actually start. What did I have to say? And why would anyone actually listen?

My thinking shifted recently when I was accepted to a few graduate nursing programs and was frantically, ravenously trying to find ANY information about the experiences of actual students as they made their way through these programs. Any first person narrative of what an average student in these programs thought or felt or experienced was suddenly of paramount importance to me. It’s really easy to find academic information about graduate programs, but it is way more difficult to get students’ honest, unfiltered opinions about them. I am nerdy (hence the grad school applications) and compulsively research before making decisions (hence the months-long search for my latest coffee maker) – figuring out where to go to school was no different.

I was somewhat shocked to find that it was difficult to track down great first-person blogs about the programs I was considering. After weeks of intense googling, I had only come up with four or five really informative options. (And, it should be noted, this dearth was made all the more painful by how incredibly informative the blogs that I *did* find were.) I decided that, once I settled on a school, I would start a blog.

So, I am writing here to give others some (extremely subjective) information on my experience and also to keep a record, for myself, of what this process was like so that I can remember it later. I have been warned that direct entry nursing programs move so quickly that everything becomes a blur and you end up processing how you felt about events much later. This is my attempt to remember, and to make that processing easier.

Since I am just jumping in and starting, I have no idea how this blog will turn out. I may abandon it in three weeks. The writing may never actually improve (sorry, y’all). But I’m excited to see what happens.